33 weeks 3 days pregnant.


Dear Babies,

Your mummy built your new pushchair yesterday while I watched. Despite claims that it was ‘the ultimate in user friendliness,’ Mummy used a lot of words that you probably won’t hear from her again – unless you get little brothers or sisters in future and she needs to build another pushchair.

In the store it looked so sexy and cute, and relatively normal-sized. Now, you babies don’t know what size our home is, because right now you are all smushed up in my (your) womb. But when your pushchair is in our lounge, it DOMINATES. Do you know what ‘dominate’ means? It means it takes up all the room and there is no room for anything else. In fact, I couldn’t even get a picture of Mummy with the pushchair because it was so big.

But dang, you guys are gonna look cute in it. Mummy keeps saying it ‘turns on a dime,’ and I will certainly remind her of that when you guys are big, fat, happy babies and our arm muscles are weeping from the pain of pushing that megalith up a hill on a path that twists and curves.

I got my wheelchair yesterday and Mummy hurt herself lifting it into the boot of the car. Your pushchair would totally kick the ass of my wheelchair in a fight. Except I suspect your pushchair is too expensive and high class to want to fight with a banged up piece of metal transport from the local charity.

Anyway, babies, today is the last day of me being home alone with you guys. Nan (Gran? Nanny?) is moving in on Monday and she will be staying with us every work day. This means that you will get used to her voice, which is nice because she is a generally nice lady. My mommy, Granny (Grandma?), is very happy that Nan will be here to look after us.

Baby girl, you have been having some big, big movements in the past day. The sort of big moves and squiggles your brother normally makes. Does this mean he isn’t squishing you anymore? And baby boy, you  have been getting some messed up hiccups. Yesterday you had them and I jiggled you; they stopped. Within minutes of me stopping jiggling, you got them again.

I’m not sure what position you kids are in, and I am nervous about what happens if you go head down. But still, whatever happens, I hope you are both as comfy as you can be. If you choose to turn head down, you would probably have more room to move. And your heads wouldn’t be up in my ribs anymore, though I think you have both moved away from the rib cage part you were in. So, in short, do consider changing position – if only for your own benefit.

We will ignore what it must be like for you to be crammed through my pelvis and vagina, but remain happy and secure in the knowledge that at least it would clean out your sinuses.

Kitty Marmite is curious about you. We have started paying more attention to her because she has been ignored for the past few months. She was sort of scared of your pushchair, but she REALLY liked the fabric of the seats and we had to hide them in plastic covers. You two will have a lot of fun with her once you are old enough to appreciate that there is more to view than my boobies or your mommies’ faces, but I don’t know if the kitty will as eager to play as you. We’ll see.

Okay, kidlets, over and out. Love you.

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4 Responses to “33 weeks 3 days pregnant.”

  1. Jinxy Says:

    I’m dying from the sweetness!

    I can only imagine how big a double pushchair is. Lily’s single is big enough.

    I’m glad your MIL is coming to help you.

  2. 2momswithaplan Says:

    What a great letter! I love the part about cleaning out the sinuses!

  3. Michelle Says:

    This has to be the best blog post I’ve read in a long time. I hope you’re going to print it out and keep a copy of it for the kids to read in years to come!

    Know what you mean about the size of double pushchairs. They all seem relatively compact in the shop but if you don’t have ballroom size ros they can take up a far bit of space!

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