Basically, most of week 31 documented here! Drama.


Have had another biggish break from the laptop. This is partially due to not being bothered to turn it on, having a few bad days, napping, new entertainment forms TMD has arranged, etc. And lots going on! So here it is, the highlights of the past few days.

I realised after the last entry that I had forgotten one massive pregnancy symptom. Every time I sit up or stand up, big ass burps (that smell) rumble out of me. It’s like instant volcano burps from changing position. Okay, we can move on now that I’ve documented that.

Onto last Thursday’s midwife appointment.

We saw the lovely lady from waaaaaaaay back – the nice midwife supervisor who actually sorted out our notes, booking appointment, etc. I love her. LOVE. The appointment was pretty standard – checked urine, blood pressure (back to normal, thank god!), etc. She didn’t make me get up on the examining table as it really is too difficult these days, so she did the heartbeats while I was sitting in my chair. This was such a thoughtful little gesture and I was impressed! The only downside to no tabling is no measuring of my fundal height – and I am DEAD curious to see exactly ‘how pregnant’ my uterus seems. I can’t quite figure out where the top of it is, or else I would make TMD measure it at home. Might do anyway.

She also couldn’t palpitate my tummy, but she put Mano’s position as ‘? head down’ in the notes because his heartbeat was so fucking low. We’re talking like pubic hair low, but off to one side. It also hurt like a maniac, so there is definitely some Mano bits way down under. I don’t know if I buy the whole head down thing, though I will say I am no longer feeling his kicks in my ass, but his squirming. So maybe.

I asked about my bump being so much lower and how I could now breathe, not throw up after eating, etc. She said that the baby (again, Mano) could have engaged, and that she certainly hoped it was his head that had done so, not another part.

Little Torre was, again, her usual superstar self with holding nice and still for heartbeat finding, etc. She doesn’t seem to change positions as much as Mano. At this point in the pregnancy (well, and for a good few weeks, actually) her heartbeat is consistently higher than his. The midwives all make a point of saying that little girls usually do have a higher heartrate. It’s so interesting in a medical sort of way. I don’t know. For the whole huge chunk of pregnancy, they had matching identical heartbeats. Then came a point when they ‘split’ – Torre stayed high, Mano went a bit lower. They also sound really different.

Midwife also said I needed to stop dicking around and get a wheelchair. She said it wasn’t really a choice anymore. (No, I haven’t ordered it at this point.) What else. Oh! She offered to do home visits to come see me for all remaining appointments!! THAT IS SO NICE. Can this be the same health service that once put an ace bandage on a broken bone and told me I would be fine?!?

While we’re on the medical side of things, let’s talk about my nipples. Yowsa. They have been tipped with white since very early in pregnancy. Then it moved to looking like a dried white lotion coming out. Left nipple – lots of little holes. Right nipple – mainly one giant hole. Left nipple has also taken to stinging like a son of a bitch at the slightest provocation, and both are very tender.



TMD got in a car accident. Don’t worry. She is fine. Our car is not-so-fine, and now on top of everything else she needs to sort out the payment with the dude who hit her, getting the car fixed, etc.

Sunday night Marmite got all fucked up. I heard TMD on the phone with someone at 11:30 pm and was like, who the fuck is she talking to this time of night – and about the cat, of all things? Yes. Marmite was angrily moving around the flat, very deliberately and slowly, with her tail swishing from side to side. Then she would freeze and make these slurpy noises – and she was FOAMING. Seriously. She looked like she had a Santa beard.

This foam was everywhere – every room of the house. TMD rushed her to an emergency animal hospital; Marmite gets carsick regularly and puked in the car, and that stopped the foaming. Vet couldn’t find anything wrong, and thinks she ingested a bad plant or something. He gave her an anti-nausea shot. Marmite was still a bit funny yesterday, sleeping most of the day, but I think she is pretty much back to normal.

But, yet again, TMD was up waaaaaaaay past when she should have been, driving our sick little baby kitty all over the fucking place. I feel so bad for all the shit TMD has to do.

And speaking of wonderful wives, she has gone all out to try to provide me with new ways to pass the time. She bought me a kick ass Charlie & Lola magazine I could play with, some coloured pencils, and a book of optical illusion patterns to colour in. She also got me a new DS game, which is essentially a Where’s Waldo searching type of game; I have passed a lot of time with this little fucker. Good times.

Let’s see. What else. Lots and lots of ‘tightenings’ lately, though I am sometimes still  unclear if it is a tightening or simply a big ass baby body pushing out against my tummy. Yesterday I was CRUSHED TMD missed something special – and that I didn’t have the camera with me on the couch so I could show you guys, too.

The left side of my bump shot out two inches higher than the right. My bump was like a child’s drawing of waves on the ocean. Left side really high up, right side dipping in. It stayed that way for about four or five minutes.

These little babies are getting bigger every day, and it’s apparent in their movements, the sheer weight of my bump, the growing field of stretchmarks, and every passing day. When I am sitting up (no small feat since some large part of baby is back in my ribs and every movement feels like I am getting stabbed!), my bump goes MORE than halfway down my thigh. Draw a line between your knees and your hips, and then imagine an inch or so beyond that. My bump sits on my lap and jesus is it heavy!  I’m 32 weeks pregnant with them today, and am getting excited to meet them. Six more weeks!! We have baby clothes hanging up in the lounge, and they are so fucking sweet and tiny I could just melt.

The odd thing is that I can think they aren’t moving, but when I put my hands on my stomach I can feel lots of squirming and stretching from the outside. I still can’t tell what is what, though we both felt a little knee/elbow/leg/something yesterday. BLESS.

I can’t wait to find out their estimate fetal weights on Friday. I have a feeling we are growing some very good sized twins in there!!

Ooh – one last thing. Have had some painful tingling in my left foot (twice) and left hand (once). This is one of those fabled pregnancy symptoms I have not yet felt. I seem to be missing out on all the small annoyances and skipping straight to wanting a constant supply of ice on my crotch. AND NO UNDERWEAR FITS ME. NONE. I constantly have big ass creases (big ass in both senses of the word – literally large creases in my ass, and so forth) from the elastic. I am considering taking scissors and just cutting into the elastic at key points. Underwear mutilation 101.

O-chay. About to upload new bump pictures.

In the meantime, I would like to say:

Dear babies,

You are getting so big and becoming little people! Please do not push on my crotch – trust me, it is boiling hot outside and you are better off in your temperature controlled environs for a bit longer.

Plus, we still haven’t finished building your cot, buying you stuff, etc. You will be like, what? I was all cramped and shit and THIS is my reward for making an appearance?

Six more weeks, babies. That’s all.

We love you!


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One Response to “Basically, most of week 31 documented here! Drama.”

  1. Jenny Says:

    Yay for headdown!

    Our baby has been SO assymetrical. For the past month and before, baby has been head down, butt on the left hand side, and legs stretched out to the upper right hand side. There’s usually a big dent in the middle of the stomach, depending on how stretched out the legs are. What a bizarre position that the baby manages to be in all quadrants at once! I joke that the baby is clearly getting this from me, since I like to sleep like a 6′ starfish sprawled across all the far reaches of our queen sized bed. 🙂

    Anyway, I can see how with two babies it would be hard to sort out which body parts belong to whom, since our one baby is stretched out into a totally bizarre position.

    The waves of motion are crazy to watch, too!

    Glad your cat is okay. Sounds like she ate something bad to me – glad that puking it up appears to have solved the problem. One of our cats has that bad habit also (she eats EVERYTHING she finds), but she throws up easily, so we just call her Bulimic-Kitty.

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