Pregnancy makes me feel like I imagine a guy trapped alone on a submarine for thirteen months would feel when he got ashore and saw a naked woman for the first time.

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Last night I went to sleep feeling a bit randy, shall we say.

Sometime before dawn I had a sexy dream and had an orgasm (not uncommon for me, but more common when I am pregnant). I haven’t had a dream orgasm since the No Sex rule was introduced – not that my dream self hasn’t tried. But dream TMD reminds me time and time again that I am not allowed to have orgasms this far into our twin pregnancy.

So, this orgasm. I woke up to my uterus contracting, hard. My entire bump sort of shrunk and went harder than the hardest thing you can imagine. I sleepily thought, Well, fuck. I’ve had an orgasm. Feel how hard my stomach is. Damn my dream self. I wonder if it will…. and then fell back asleep.

Woke up a few hours later and was pleased to feel my tum was back to its normal self. Interesting that I spend time lying on my side, fingertips against my bump, wondering how the fuck I am supposed to feel ‘tightenings’ when my bump is always the same.

(I do think I have painless Braxton-Hicks some evenings, when it feels like the bump has saran-wrapped itself to the babies, but not entirely positive…)

I think my dream-gasm showed me that if I have a strong contraction, there’s really no mistaking it. So that’s one good thing that has occured from my unconscious self getting jiggy. Bad unconscious self. You naughty, naughty girl.

*rrrwwwoooaaarrrrr*

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3 Responses to “Pregnancy makes me feel like I imagine a guy trapped alone on a submarine for thirteen months would feel when he got ashore and saw a naked woman for the first time.”

  1. 2momswithaplan Says:

    Ha!!! I remember when I was pregnant, my doctor gave me the no sex talk… I remember asking her if she was kidding. I always thought that sex during pregnancy was a good thing. Well I guess for those of us who actually achieve that beautiful, earth shattering, orgasm – sex during pregnancy isn’t good for those who are high risk. Makes me rethink the whole pregnancy thing. LOL

  2. thebestthingscomeintwos Says:

    Just catching up on your blog! LOVE IT! Don’t worry about the Braxton Hicks, when its the real thing you WILL know. Everyone told me that and I didn’t believe them, but they were totally right!

  3. Jinxy Says:

    I’m sorry about your no sex situation but this post made me laugh so hard I scared a cat. 🙂

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