Our egg recipient is preggers, too.

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Ooh, I feel funny. This is going to be an unfiltered post (well, they ALL are, but this one more than most) as I don’t know what I think/feel about this. Just got the call from the clinic.

And jesus are my eggs ripe. The woman I donated eggs to is pregnant with one baby.

I feel funny about this. Funny dunny.

Once we decided to donate eggs – no, once our IVF cycle was underway, really – I felt a-okay about helping another person. When we received an anonymous card from our egg recipient, I felt amazing and warm and gushy for both her and me. Me, like what an amazing person I am. Her, like – OH MY GOD I might be helping another woman with her dream of having a child. That felt fucking fantastic.

It was only a couple of days ago that a bit of….’something’ creeped in. To be real, I hadn’t really thought much or cared in any but a generic way whether or not the other woman was pregnant. Then all of a sudden I have a tap dancing troupe living in my womb and I find myself caring.

I found myself having the hateful, mean wish that the other woman had not conceived – not because I wished her any evil, but because, well, look at what I am making. These two little babies are part me. And I wondered about that other child – will she/he look like me? Love reading? etc etc  An altogether odd feeling. I kept picturing myself on my tenth birthday; I was an unfortunate looking kid, and I suddenly was wondering about this non-child of mine, walking around with bits of me in him/her. I feel like it’s a her.

This child will be able to contact me when they are 18 years old. It’s odd to think that while my two babies are doing their thing, there is another child exactly their age who is also conceived from my eggs. Am I an awful person for questioning this and feeling this way?

When we wanted a baby, I developed a huge pool of empathy towards other people who were trying to get pregnant. I can’t actually imagine what that other woman must have gone through. Perhaps trying ‘the regular way’ or through IUI for ages, then IVF with their own eggs, then IVF with another woman’s eggs. I hope she loves that baby like a mofo, because some blogs I read where people are conceived via donor eggs have a lot of awkward, awful feeling about having to use a donor.

I find that amazing, because the only negative-ish thought I can conjour up about us using a (sperm) donor is that we don’t know what the guy looks like. The babies are uncontrovertably ours, 100%.

Okay.

Enough for now, I think my pizza is probably ready.

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7 Responses to “Our egg recipient is preggers, too.”

  1. Jinxy Says:

    I have often wondered if I would be a strong enough person to donate eggs. I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m too selfish.
    I think its an amazing gift that you gave that other woman. And you have every right to have whatever feelings you want, especially since you are pregnant and have all those groovy hormones raging right now.

  2. 2momswithaplan Says:

    I think its an amazing thing you did by helping that woman get pregnant! You have opened up a whole new world for her and even though her baby will carry some of your DNA, it will also have some of her DNA.

    I wanted to become an egg donor but my bmi was too much. So they didn’t consider me a good candidate. After thinking about it – I wondered how I would feel to know someone else was pregnant from my eggs. I still don’t know how I would feel but I can only imagine my thoughts would be similiar to yours.

  3. existere Says:

    Thanks to both of you for your considerate comments.

    Because I am a picky ho – 2moms, the recipient won’t be contributing any DNA to her baby, though I’m sure she’ll be a fab mom.

  4. Tatiana Says:

    I wonder how I’d feel if I were pregnant and carrying some other woman’s egg. That’s a really… weird…. thought.

  5. apieceofwood Says:

    I donated eggs as well.. and at this point I don’t know if it has worked or not.

    That said, I always wanted to help others out if we could. If we needed eggs / sperm / both, I’d hope someone would help us out too!

    Whilst our cycles haven’t worked, I don’t regret it for a minute. What’s to say had it been one egg that we used with DH’s sperm that it would have worked for us?

    It’s one of the greatest things you can do.. and it’s normal to be like you do.

  6. CJ Says:

    You are not evil at all! I have always said I could carry a baby for another woman, but not one conceived with my own egg. Your thoughts are completely normal. But you have helped create a family. Anyone who would go through IVF to get pregnant has an intense desire to have a child, a WANTED child. And you made that happen.

  7. Dora Says:

    Thanks for your comment on my blog. I am pregnant with donated embryos. While I certainly had some sadness that my ovaries wouldn’t give up any good eggs, I have no “awkward, awful” feelings about using donor gametes. I feel such love and gratitude towards my donor, and was extremely attached to these embies even before transfer. These cells growing within me will become MY CHILD. My child, who I have waited for so ong and wanted so much. My amazing, little miracle.

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