Have money and feel altruistic?


I fear I have somehow crossed the invisible line between being able to spend money and having to save all our money to try to afford having two babies.

I say this, of course, because I want a netbook. My love, my darling. A little shiny creature so lightweight I can pop it in my bag and write on the train, in the park, wherever I am. I also think about the final weeks and months of pregnancy, when I will more than likely be lying down most of the time, and I know a very lightweight netbook would offer me the chance to keep posting here, as well as working on my ‘other’ writing.

I’ve been so sick for the last four months that survival has felt my top priority. Now I am feeling more me again, and the definition of survival widens to include art, thinking, feeling, expression of self. I’ve handwritten a little ditty and long for the portability of being able to carry my writing and an apple side-by-side.

I wish I had a wealthy benefactor.  But sometimes I do find when I make my wishes concrete and external, they happen. Of course I believe that action is needed to encourage change and growth, and writing this entry might be my very first step into getting that netbook!

There is also the very real fact that our home computer is completely full, meaning that I am left wondering where I will upload the baby belly pictures I took a couple of days ago. (And this is also the reason there are no baby scan pictures in this diary!) I know I get hooked on the idea of gizmos and gadgets being able to Sort Things Out, and I am feeling velcro-ed to my need for this one, final, perfect, shining thing.

Something that is mine, however small, to touch and play and create with. Life is full of trying to aquire free maternity and baby goods (had a baby recently and want to give me your stuff? I will not turn you down!), but I don’t want to forget all of the other things that make life full and worthwhile.

I’m reading Truth and Beauty: A Friendship (better than the title makes it sound, I swear) now. Green thrust it into my hands and said that she thought of me the entire time she was reading it. It makes me want to run away and go to a writers’ colony. But never do I want to leave behind my love, TMD, or our two little babies-in-waiting. It occurs to me that a netbook could be my version of a writing retreat.

(the end)

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4 Responses to “Have money and feel altruistic?”

  1. Barbara Says:

    While I can’t send you a netbook, I do have a suggestion: get a flashdrive for the pics! Or transfer all the stuff from your home computer to a flash drive and put it all in a desk drawer. 🙂 You can get ’em here for about $20. LEss, if you don’t need much room.

  2. FemmeFairyGodmother Says:

    My pleasure, Mrs. Mama to Be!

  3. FemmeFairyGodmother Says:

    Um, it would appear that I signed in as someone else in my first comment!

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