Angry.

by

Warning: crazy pregnancy hormones ahead.

Called the hospital this morning to see why no one had gotten in touch with me yet. After all, I AM growing babies in my tummy. They said I should have seen a midwife already – and I do this by making an appointment at my doctor’s office. My dipshit doctor – fucker – had previously told me no one would get in touch with me until I was 12 weeks pregnant and I didn’t need to do anything.

Fucking idiot. What the fuck would have happened if I hadn’t rung the hospital because I don’t totally trust the doctor? The referral isn’t even in the hospital system yet.

So I made the latest appointment to see the midwife I could next Thursday – it still means a half day at work. Then I called to book my 12 week scan. As soon as I hung up I realised I booked it for a Tuesday, which is when TMD is at university. FUCK. Tears threaten. Have texted her to see if I should rebook or what, but she’s at some conference today so god only knows when she will get in touch.

All of this seems totally overwhelming to the emotional side of me, while the logical side realises there is No Big Deal here. I’m trying to integrate both sides, but yowza. TMD will want to be at the scan. The earliest they do is at 12 – so another half day (or less) at work. After taking a month off for my stupid leg, all this extra time off makes me feel like an asshole.

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2 Responses to “Angry.”

  1. Tatiana Says:

    It’s really okay, hun. Seriously. I know that’s so not helpful to read or to think about, but your babies are not in any more “danger” from seeing a midwife at 12 weeks 1 day as opposed to 12 weeks 6 days. Remember to give yourself hugs and credit for BEING A RESPONSIBLE MOTHER by making those phone calls and appointments.

    Also, your doctor’s either a twit or a poor communicator. Either way, I’m glad to hear you’ll be using a midwife 😉

    • existere Says:

      *breathe* Well, everyone in this country uses midwives throughout pregnancy and birth. Because I’m having twins, my pregnancy will probably be consultant-led rather than midwife-led, but I’ll still have loads of contact with them.

      I’m so looking forward to having experienced women to work with. SO LOOKING FORWARD to it.

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