Archive for January 28th, 2009

Um. Erm.

January 28, 2009

The internet erased one of my diary entries. This should be the fourth one I’ve written today.

The second one was titled ‘Dr G can suck my wee’, and featured my dream of having a little punchbag with his face on it. Did anyone see this?

What the hell happened to it? It was there all day today, and now it’s gone.

Advertisements

Beating my breast.

January 28, 2009

Just watching this tv show about a lady who is pregnant with triplets. She was talking about medication – and calling the national helpline to be told, ‘If your leg is falling off, THEN maybe you can take a paracetemol.’

Um, I’ve taken god knows how many of those fuckers. Eight a day for I don’t know how many days. At least a week. And three codeine. Not to mention crossing the road and getting run over.

I am a terrible, terrible mother already. I feel horrid.

Angry.

January 28, 2009

Warning: crazy pregnancy hormones ahead.

Called the hospital this morning to see why no one had gotten in touch with me yet. After all, I AM growing babies in my tummy. They said I should have seen a midwife already – and I do this by making an appointment at my doctor’s office. My dipshit doctor – fucker – had previously told me no one would get in touch with me until I was 12 weeks pregnant and I didn’t need to do anything.

Fucking idiot. What the fuck would have happened if I hadn’t rung the hospital because I don’t totally trust the doctor? The referral isn’t even in the hospital system yet.

So I made the latest appointment to see the midwife I could next Thursday – it still means a half day at work. Then I called to book my 12 week scan. As soon as I hung up I realised I booked it for a Tuesday, which is when TMD is at university. FUCK. Tears threaten. Have texted her to see if I should rebook or what, but she’s at some conference today so god only knows when she will get in touch.

All of this seems totally overwhelming to the emotional side of me, while the logical side realises there is No Big Deal here. I’m trying to integrate both sides, but yowza. TMD will want to be at the scan. The earliest they do is at 12 – so another half day (or less) at work. After taking a month off for my stupid leg, all this extra time off makes me feel like an asshole.