Archive for January 16th, 2009

Pregnancy symptom #3289032

January 16, 2009

I’m growing a beard.

I felt it a few days ago, and TMD has just offered visual confirmation. It’s not as horrible as it sounds. It’s very fine blonde/clear hair, like the rest of my facial hair, it’s just long and on my chin.

A beard.

Um.

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Can you guess what my new favourite word is?

January 16, 2009

Okay, some more medical stuff, then back to pregnancy stuff!

Talked to Joy yesterday, which fired me up to ring my doctor and say I was getting pins and needles in my foot. He said I needed to come in for an emergency appointment. While pushing various points on my leg (it’s a nerve, I knew it was a nerve, please allow me to be smug in my painful fake doctor sort of way) I was hitting the wall, yanking my leg away, etc. He became worried that I had this syndrome thing and said I needed to see Ortho at the hospital right away.

So.

I went back to the hospital, saw the head surgeon, who told me all sorts of terrifying things about 12 hour windows and AMPUTATIONS, and then calmly told me I didn’t need to worry about that. I actually grabbed his hand, like a feeble old woman, and said, ‘Thank you, thank you.’ He said that I had deep bleeding and bruising in the calf muscles, and that it would be irritating my nerve. He said that because I can’t take anti-inflammatory medication, the swelling would be hurting my nerve. He then said I had to go back for a follow up if things didn’t settle down.

The hospital scheduled it for this morning. WTF. After waiting for an hour in a sea of people with broken bones, I saw another Ortho guy. He said I had a swollen and stretched nerve, but that I could expect a complete recovery. He also said there was no predicting how long it would take for the nerve to settle down – anything from two weeks to months.

(Note: angry nerves in your leg. You want to know what that feels like? Bang your funny bone extra hard. Take a snapshot of how it feels in that first intense three seconds. Then stretch it down the entire length of your leg.)

Say it with me, ‘Awesome.’ You know what else is awesome? I strained my left shoulder muscle really badly when getting out of the bathtub this morning. You can imagine how much easier that makes using crutches!

He also said I could put full weight on my leg now, as that would be possible even with a broken bone. I explained that I couldn’t actually straighten my leg – I think this guy forgot my original injury was not this nerve pain, but a torn calf muscle or muscles. I think I’m going to definitely need physiotherapy.

Let us continue on a symptomatic front, before I wax lyrical about pregnancy and itsy bitsy babies.

My morning sickness is BACK. I’ve read in all the books that it peaks at nine weeks pregnant, unless you are pregnant with twins. It’s not the sort of I-want-to-die horribleness it was before – now I would classify it more as a public embarassment. A new development seems to be violent and deep dry heaving…including lots of unfortunate burping while I am retching. This happens a lot in the car. Or, you know, in emergency room waiting areas.

I am throwing up dinner every night, so am now taking my prenatal vitamins after lunch. This system seems to be working. Although I just had my omega and my multivitamin balanced on my crotch, and so help me god, I can’t find the vitamin. Please don’t let the cat eat it.

I also may take some pictures of my thighs for you to witness. You know those thick markers kids use? Well, if you took a greenish blue one of those and just drew all over your body with it – that’s what my veins look like. It’s most apparent in my thighs, though due to my fair skin my arms also look like someone has been colouring on me. TMD says my entire lower back is green, and she has suggested that perhaps I am pregnant with The Hulk’s babies.

Let’s hope not. At least I don’t have to worry about them being born capable of glowing in the dark, thanks to the fact that I managed to avoid getting x-rays.