Archive for January 5th, 2009

Rational about being irrational, take twenty-three.

January 5, 2009

I called this lovely national charity’s pregnancy and birth helpline today. I said, ‘Hello, I’m just looking for some reassurance.’ I said I’d done lots of frantic googling re: cramping and knew it was probably normal, but I just needed a human being to tell me so.

The woman laughed and said, ‘I know how you feel. It’s something perfectly normal, we all have to go through it. Cramping is normal, as is is bit of spotting.’ Thankfully I’m not spotting, but it’s nice to have gotten a pre-warning. I did let the woman know that if I saw blood I would probably have a heart attack.

Aussie said yesterday I am carrying myself like a pregnant lady. That excited me beyond all belief. I’m still expanding, though I imagine the massive amount of food I am eating – combined with living an essentially horizontal life – is a major contributing factor.

Today I did find out that if you have a scan with a visible heartbeat AND are eight weeks pregnant, the risk of miscarriage dramatically drops down to only 3%. I mean, it’s still high as far as I’m concerned, but a lot lower than earlier in pregnancy. My scan next Monday will be at seven weeks five days, which means that on Wednesday I will be the magic eight weeks. Feeling good about that.

Roll on twelve weeks, though. I’ll feel better when I’m out of the dreaded first trimester and am also not reading pregnancy books about how in the first ten weeks your embryo is all hugely at risk from environmental factors. I walked past some pot smokers today and when I could no longer hold my breath, I pulled my scarf up over my face and used it like a breathing filter. In my head I was going, ‘Don’t you KNOW who I AM? How DARE you smoke in front of me.’

Hooligans.

After ten weeks the ’embryo’ also becomes a ‘fetus.’ It’s all BABY to me, though. TMD keeps kissing my tummy and talking to my pubis. She’s sweet. After I had the nervous breakdown when I went to the doctor last time, I was crying in department stores, and I also started to weep in a coffee shop when I couldn’t decide what I wanted.

She spirited me off home and took me to ‘TMD’s cafe’, where we sat at the table with some nibbles and a big ass glass of orange juice. There could be no better person to be doing this with. I love love love her.

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Crazy is as crazy does.

January 5, 2009

Ah, dudes and dudettes, guess who I get to hang out with on Thursday morning? Dr. Dipshit. He was the ONLY doctor available in the time slot I needed. AWESOME.

On the upside, TMD and I went to tour a maternity suite/unit on Saturday. How surreal it was to be looking at delivery suites when I am only 6 weeks pregnant! I really liked the hospital. It’s not our local one, as that is a den of shitnests, but it’s still quite close.

I decided to go see a doctor (THE doctor) in person to clarify the referral, as my community midwife will have to be from my local area. Not sure how all this works.

Been having lots of cramps since yesterday evening. Virtually all morning today. On this occasion, the internet has soothed me because apparently these are very normal. I might call a pregnancy helpline in a bit just for some reassurance.

Everything feels a bit up in the air around the pregnancy – the meds I need, the appointments, the referrals. I don’t want the actual pregnancy to feel up in the air! Really still looking forward to the scan on Monday.

In the meantime, I’m trying to stay sane…or at least appear that way.