Thanks for only charging me for an hour, driving instructor o’ mine.


Soooooooo… driving test was cancelled. I called them three times beforehand to keep getting the message that while snow was everywhere and the roads were shitty, I should just come in case everything melted. So I had an hour’s lesson, rocked up to the test centre, and – no surprise – no test.

Joy and I have been talking a lot about magical thinking. ‘Magical thinking’ is a term derived from psychotherapeutic training. It means, simply, that people think they hold sway over the universe. Like, for instance, me saying something like, ‘I know my next counselling client will definitely arrive’ will somehow twist things around and they will not show up.

Three year olds call this ‘jinxing.’ Counsellors call it ‘magical thinking.’

I think virtually every person on the planet has this to an extent – it helps us feel important, in control, influential. People always are the star in their own made-for-tv movie, with everyone else playing extra roles. So why wouldn’t the star assume that a well-placed thought or comment could sway the script?

My ex-therapist once said to me, ‘Existere, that’s magical thinking. Do you really think you have enough power to control the universe?’

I seriously considered the question, then laughed and said, ‘Yes, I do.’

So when the snow was pelting down last night (three inches in under an hour? To this country, that’s like a national emergency) and TMD pointed it it could interfere with my driving test, of course I became mildly obsessed with it. I kept saying that I hoped it would be cancelled. TMD just wanted my test to be over and done with. I hopped out of bed this morning at the crack of dawn and was delighted to see our road covered in snow. I checked every five minutes or so.

When the snow/ice started melting just before ten, I felt disappointed.

So when the test was cancelled, of course I assumed it was because I wished it to be so. Magical thinking, my friends. I can’t help but feel a little disappointed – I think I might have passed today. Driving on snowy roads makes me feel surpremely confident and right at home. So, if you connect a to b to c, that means I am really disappointed in myself for wishing the test would not happen.


I am comfortable in my own craziness, though. I like it.

The driving test people apparently will send me an automatic new test date/time. It’s bound not to work because of the Great Baby-Making Escapade of 2008, so I’ll reschedule for sometime in January. Seeing as snow is much more likely in January than October, I might actually be approaching giving birth by the time I take a test and pass it.

Yours truly,

Master of the Universe

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3 Responses to “Thanks for only charging me for an hour, driving instructor o’ mine.”

  1. fyreflixie Says:

    Because you are master of the universe, can you make the roads perfectly beautiful & clear on the days when 1) I am going to the hospital and 2) the day I bring Maia home?

    Thank you ❤

  2. existere Says:

    I can try. But this also requires YOU to magically think. And possibly, Maia, too. You should start shouting instructions into your bump.

  3. Driving Instructor Says:

    I also had a driving test cancelled last week, and there wasn’t snow on the road! My learner driver was very disappointed, as he was hoping to get his full UK licence that day.

    Anyway hope you get to take your test again very soon, and that you pass.


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