Archive for October, 2008

Holy rolling.

October 31, 2008

I’ve got a poll for you: Am I going to go to hell for sending my Jewish best friend this homemade virtual jack o’lantern?

She once sent me a pack of 200 ‘testa-mints’ – breath fresheners individually wrapped in verses from the Bible.

The programme that made this is called polldaddy. That makes me laugh.

October 31, 2008

I thought of you.

October 31, 2008

I may or may not know you, but I know that as you read these words, I have something to tell you:

Smiling underneath.

October 31, 2008

Searches that bring people to my page usually make me laugh, but sometimes make me worry. I mean, I’m just not delivering here. Today someone searched for ‘why are exorcisms necessary?’

I don’t know how the fuck google hooked my page up to info about exorcisms – or have I actually talked about them?

People also seem very interested in hot latin grandmothers, lesbian breast reductions, and the New Kids on the Block. Hmmm.

Is it me, or are people a wee bit screwed up? Well, judge not lest ye be judged. God knows I’ve searched for some doozies in the past – including desperate days that featured me frantically typing, ‘When the fuck will I get a new job?’ into Google.

Happy Halloween, anyway. I’m off sick today. Looking forward to pumpkin carving and shitty ghost hunt programmes this evening. TMD started my day delightfully, with a gross halloween goblet full of chocolate eyeballs and skulls. That’s love, folks.

Speak to you soon, no doubt.

For posterity’s sake.

October 30, 2008

I feel dodgy. Got reeeeeeeeeeally sick in the bathroom just before the concert last night (this happened last year when I saw this musician as well, so perhaps she inspires this reaction?). On the train in today, I suddenly had very bad stomach pains. Couldn’t tell if I needed to eat a horse or shit out a house.

Have now had two cups of peppermint tea and a ginger biscuit; I’m feeling slightly more settled. I hope I am just fighting the flu.

Anyone ever get stomach pains with the birth control pill?

Every time I get the poopies or whatever, I feel disappointed because it’s one more symptom I won’t be able to say, ‘Hmm, that’s different. I might be pregnant!’ when the time comes. Seeing as today I’ve already had cramping, stomach pain, nausea, and sore boobs – there are no pregnancy symptoms left for me. Fuck!!

Blog post 601.

October 29, 2008

So. I keep hearing Twitter this and Twitter that. I never bothered to go to the website until a person I like mentioned it in her blog. Due to the aforementioned liking, and a healthy dash of respect, I did it: I clicked over to Twitter and signed up.

This is my Twitter page. Feel free to add me.

I am yet to see how this is different from the status updates a la Facebook, so if you know some deep, dark secret about Twitter, do let me know. In the meantime, I’m quite excited as I think I would update my Facebook status 43718502 times a day if it wouldn’t look fucking weird.

Twitter appears to encourage constant updating. No promises as to how active or long I’ll be there. If you’ve got a Twitter account, let me know! Thus far I’m only following two.

Nano-why-mo(an).

October 29, 2008

I’m so excited about NaNoWriMo that I might just throw up if I have to wait any longer. I’ve got Opposite Gender Soulmate to agree to participate this year. It seems fitting, as he is the one who first introduced me to it in 2002.

Every year I think about doing it, then think of a million excuses why I shouldn’t. The only year I actually did it, I ended up with a 65,000 word novel that some of you may still have email copies of. I try to reread it every now and then, but it semi-comatizes me. (I made that word up. Do you like it?)

That novel came on the heels of publishing my dissertation. Success begets success? All I know is that after writing the first book, another one popped out not soon after. Then there was a bit of a gap, and I wrote half of the best book I think I’ve written thus far.

I’ve got some scenes, characters, and situations established in my mind for this November. I really want to do it, and the bigtime plans we had for Saturday (go to Epilady’s house with many, many other people and play Risk. Really.) have fallen through, so my November 1 is suddenly free and clear. TMD will no doubt want to study, and I am not having driving lessons.

Writing, here I come.

It’s a bit odd that I’m so stuck on participating this year. Every Nano thing I read says to cut down on other activities, and certainly not take on anything new. So does every IVF thing I read. I figure if I ignore all the advice and try to do both, something pretty special may happen. Of course, it may mean that I swear at the computer more, or suddenly have characters that are impotent, but, well, that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

Are you doing Nano? Let me know. We can cheer each other on.

(five) Margaret

October 29, 2008

You are the author of one of my favourite books. You were so mean and weird when I met you, I ended up crying in Burger King. You made me doubt.

Thanks for only charging me for an hour, driving instructor o’ mine.

October 29, 2008

Soooooooo…..my driving test was cancelled. I called them three times beforehand to keep getting the message that while snow was everywhere and the roads were shitty, I should just come in case everything melted. So I had an hour’s lesson, rocked up to the test centre, and – no surprise – no test.

Joy and I have been talking a lot about magical thinking. ‘Magical thinking’ is a term derived from psychotherapeutic training. It means, simply, that people think they hold sway over the universe. Like, for instance, me saying something like, ‘I know my next counselling client will definitely arrive’ will somehow twist things around and they will not show up.

Three year olds call this ‘jinxing.’ Counsellors call it ‘magical thinking.’

I think virtually every person on the planet has this to an extent – it helps us feel important, in control, influential. People always are the star in their own made-for-tv movie, with everyone else playing extra roles. So why wouldn’t the star assume that a well-placed thought or comment could sway the script?

My ex-therapist once said to me, ‘Existere, that’s magical thinking. Do you really think you have enough power to control the universe?’

I seriously considered the question, then laughed and said, ‘Yes, I do.’

So when the snow was pelting down last night (three inches in under an hour? To this country, that’s like a national emergency) and TMD pointed it it could interfere with my driving test, of course I became mildly obsessed with it. I kept saying that I hoped it would be cancelled. TMD just wanted my test to be over and done with. I hopped out of bed this morning at the crack of dawn and was delighted to see our road covered in snow. I checked every five minutes or so.

When the snow/ice started melting just before ten, I felt disappointed.

So when the test was cancelled, of course I assumed it was because I wished it to be so. Magical thinking, my friends. I can’t help but feel a little disappointed – I think I might have passed today. Driving on snowy roads makes me feel surpremely confident and right at home. So, if you connect a to b to c, that means I am really disappointed in myself for wishing the test would not happen.

Crrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy.

I am comfortable in my own craziness, though. I like it.

The driving test people apparently will send me an automatic new test date/time. It’s bound not to work because of the Great Baby-Making Escapade of 2008, so I’ll reschedule for sometime in January. Seeing as snow is much more likely in January than October, I might actually be approaching giving birth by the time I take a test and pass it.

Yours truly,

Master of the Universe

When three gather in my name.

October 28, 2008

The train doors opened, TMD exclaimed, ‘It’s snowing!’, and the train driver said, ‘Attention, it is now snowing, so do take care on your journey home.’

Yes. Snow.

This means we didn’t get to practice driving tonight. I suppose it doesn’t matter – an extra half hour will not make me pass if I’m not ready for the test. However, if the weather is like this tomorrow the test is bound to be cancelled, because people in this country freak out when it snows. We’re lucky we got the train we did – another ten minutes and I bet there would have been severe delays.

I think I would feel relieved if the test were cancelled. If we weren’t going to be making babies, I wouldn’t give a damn about not being able to drive. I’ve lived here (legally, anyway) for over seven years and survived just fine without a license. But now that we live in the sticks and I’m sure to need to be able to get around, suddenly it all feels important.

Boo hiss boo.

As you come to the end of this entry, shut your eyes and send a quick wish my way.


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