Archive for September 30th, 2008

This flair deserves its own entry:

September 30, 2008

Great or what? I would like to own this in real life, but only if I could be assured that strangers in the street would know I was wearing it ironically.

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September 30, 2008

Eid Mubarak and Happy Rose Hashanah!!!

Two holidays on one day. Is this like a religious eclipse? If so, good things should happen today. Oh wait, my parking already sorted itself out.

Seriously, though, to my pallies who’ve been fasting for all of Ramadan – enjoy eating during sunlight again. No more vampire foodie¬†lifestyle. And to the non-Muslim Jews of my aquaintance, happy New Year!

(And another religious holiday: a woman in an office below ours asked me to join her ‘choir’ and practice Christmas songs. I smiled and tried not to betray my nervous twitches.)

[this space reserved for Rose Hashanah flair, which does not exist.:( ]

Back that thang up.

September 30, 2008

I know you are all hanging around waiting to hear updates on my parallel parking. Some of you have probably already written worried poetry about this topic. I know others have composed stirring operas.

Well, no more to fear. We’ve identified the problem: the curbs on the street we were trying were too low to see in the mirrors. Hence when I was screaming, ‘I can’t see the fucking CURBS, TMD. Fuck these fucking mirrors!’ I was actually correct, whilst sounding like a jackass.

We found a street with normal curbs this evening, and I am back to being a pretty amazing parker. What a difference 24 hours and three inches make.

Meeeeeeeeeeeemories.

September 30, 2008

I just wrote ‘once and awhile’ in the previous post. I’ve fixed it now, but it horrifies me.

My friend/ex-roommate Cookie once dated this girl we’ll call Crazy Short Girl. Now, Crazy truly was crazy, but I think it was her grammar problems that sealed the deal for me. And for Cookie, come to think of it.

In a totally non-crazy way, Cookie and I read Crazy’s blogs for years after they’d broken up (and the blog of her new gf. I know, right?) and Crazy had this annoying habit of writing ‘all well’ every third sentence. As in, ‘All well, I guess things are working out.’ She meant ‘oh well.’

I hope I am not turning into her, with my ‘once and awhile.’ Ga-ga-ga-gross.

Oh!

September 30, 2008

Have a little looksie at the link ‘my memory stick’ on the right. I’m using this as a handy list of links I visit regularly, or just sites I go to once in a while and still think they are worth posting.

Two blogs ago, back in the old school days, I had a list of websites I thought were odd. It ended up being quite cool because loads of people emailed with suggestions of other websites. So feel free to comment on the bottom of that page with things you think I might like, things you like, or just surreal websites you want other people to know about!

I’m in a better mood now – driving test be damned – as my Scary Meeting today was cancelled.

Just THINKING about the driving test Friday makes me uncontrollable.

September 30, 2008

This country:

allows you to reverse around corners
has no word for garbage trucks
thinks it’s okay to drink hot things in the summer

is awesome with gay things
gave birth to TMD
speaks the same language as me

All in all, it may look like the score is currently even. You know what screws it up?

Driving tests. These motherfuckers have such hard driving tests it is like you are training to be a surgeon or something. There’s the written test, another test where you stare at a computer screen for a million hours clicking the mouse whenever danger appears (awesome videos, let me tell you), and then the test itself. My driving instructor keeps telling me they (we, after I get citizenship on Monday) have the hardest practical driving test in the world.

Roll on, Saturday.

I am still angry at parallel parking. While a sane part of me knows our side mirror was probably not set up right, it was on a hill, and it was pitch black…..a more primal part of me wants to rip apart a driving instruction manual, piss on it, and then dance naked around it while chanting some threatening little ditty.

Watch this space.