Archive for September 24th, 2008

Even the grey clouds can’t get me down.

September 24, 2008

Today is shaping up into an altogether tasty day. Highlights include:

1. My new career as an envelope decorator. One of the children I work with has a birthday soon, and I have rarely enjoyed coloured pens and stickers so much.

2. Myself and a friend at work are talking entirely in Haiku.

3. The session I was anxious about all last night was kickin’. I took the lead and I think it went really well. A little of my confidence is back.

4. My sister and I are exchanging very long emails about very big stuff. It feels gorgeous.

The only thing that would make today better is if I already had my license and TMD had left the car at home, allowing me to drive and pick up dinner. She’s out really late this evening, and I really fancy chips.

The only blight in my day, which is actually so screwy I kind of enjoy it, is that my septum really fucking hurts if I push up on it. I think this is my nose’s way of telling me it is not happy that it is not pierced. Damn TMD for repiercing her nose and looking so good – and not wanting to be ‘twins*.’ She wants to be ‘a cool lesbian mum.’

I will have to find a way to be cool. I suspect it will involve envelopes in some way.

Peace out, bro’. For reals.

* Besides, I tell her, you aren’t twins with someone if opposite sides of the nose are pierced. Dental health be damned, I never should have taken out my tongue ring. That’s cooler than the nose thing any day.

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A loooooooooooong night.

September 24, 2008

I’ve been going to bed really early due to all the early morning doctor’s appointments. I ended up asleep early again last night, despite knowing this was a ‘normal time’ morning. (And I ran into John again at the train station. Odd guy, but sort of nice to have a train station friend. Like when you were in university and had ‘class friends.’)

The consequence of going to bed so early meant I woke a lot through the night. Ah, the better to remember my IVF dreams. I must have have five different dreams about it. When I’d wake up, I’d think about IVF or an anxiety-provoking session I have scheduled with a client today.

All of the dreams centred around the injections I have to give myself/make TMD give me. The worst one was being in hospital and being taught how to do it – I had two injections. One with a blue top, one with a red. One HAD to go in this vein in the back of my left thigh, the other HAD to go in the back of the other thigh. I couldn’t remember if I’d put the right medication in each vial, I couldn’t remember which went in which leg, etc.

And worse than all that, I simply could not put the needle against my skin and push.

Anxiety, what what?