Archive for September 8th, 2008

For quarter lady:

September 8, 2008

Natural cycle IUI

This is when a woman just has her ordinary menstrual cycle. Just before ovulation, sperm are inserted into the uterous (bypassing the cervix). These are specially prepared and live only 6 hours, so timing is quite crucial. Nothing is required except the one trip to the clinic for the insemination. This costs about 1100/1200. Success rates at our clinic are 10% per cycle.

Stimulated cycle IUI

Same as above, except a bit more invasive. There are injections every other day of a low dose of hormones, as well as regular scans to make sure the follicle (what the egg is in) develops nicely. A day or so before the insemination, another injection is given to induce ovulation. This cuts down on timing problems. This requires medication and multiple trips to the clinic. This costs about 1400. Success rates are 15-20% per cycle.

IVF

IVF is when a woman’s normal hormones are ‘turned off’ by medication. This allows multiple eggs to develop, which are then harvested in an operation. I would be having ICSI, which is when a sperm is injected directly into each egg. The embryos are then monitored to see if they have fertilised, how they are developing, etc. The two best quality ones are places back into the womb. This requires medication in the cycle before the woman plans to conceive, daily injections in the conception cycle, and (probably) scans. I know the least about this timeline as we haven’t had the consult yet. This is very, very expensive. If I am willing to share my eggs with a woman who needs them, it costs 1050 per cycle. Success rates are 50-55%, more towards the 55% due to my young age.

We are leaning towards IVF because of the very high success rate. We have extremely limited funds, so we would only have enough money for a couple of tries before switching to IVF. I think we would rather put our money into IVF as the chances of success are much higher, the price is lower, etc. Yes, it’s invasive, but I don’t think I really mind that bit at all.

DN, want to tell me more about your insemination? Either by email, facebook, or here. I’ve been feeling hopeless about the low success rates of IUI, but sort of wishing we had loads of money so we cuold do natural cycle first. Still, IVF makes me feel much, much more hopeFUL. I welcome more info, please!!

PS – Just in case you don’t read my response to the comment you made on a previous entry a bit ago, I said that I wished you lived near me. I would take you someplace slightly funky, with a nice atmosphere (perhaps a bit dim), where we could talk and talk. It would, of course, involve tasty food and things. How funny that you live so close to where I used to live, before this big old ocean got in the way.

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Ever rising dips.

September 8, 2008

Well, I want to write about my conversation with Kleinette and what a fucked up backward coincidence it all was, but it feels like a private thing because I don’t want to spread her shit on the net. I know none of you even know her real name (and most don’t know mine!), but still.

It was (almost) enough that I called TMD to tell her about it. Funny how life works sometimes. Have not managed to sort a session, will ring her in a few weeks. I am feeling like the crisis has already resolved – for the minute, anyway.

Have spent time on some messageboards dealing with IVF. I found a thread that was a ten question thing for women who had conceived. There are almost 300 replies. I’ve read the first 35 pages, and the vast majority of women conceived in the first or second cycle. This has me feeling hopeful again.

I’ve booked an evening info session with another clinic in a few weeks time, just to compare and contrast. Our couples counselling session at OUR clinic is next week, my doctor’s appointment for blood test referrals is this week, hopefully I’ll get the bloods done on Friday morning. Things still seem to be ticking along very nicely.

I would really REALLY like to try in November. All the time off needed will be gross, but I am already taking a lot of time off when my mother is here, and I wonder if that will coincide with when I would need egg retrival and stuff. That would be too, too perfect.

Anyway.

I’m cheering up slightly. Don’t feel as heavy or as gloomy. And still want to write about my birthday!!

This time next year…

September 8, 2008

Feeling all mixed up – am I upset about donating eggs? IVF? Uncertainty? Postponing things?

My head feels very full and heavy, and my body is slow like molasses. I woke up this morning and the thoughts were immediately whizzing through my head – should I do this? Is this REALLY want I want? Am I the only one upset here?

This was after a night of IVF dreams. Busy, busy head.

I am making plans to go forward with IVF, one step at a time. Booked an appointment to see one of my normal doctors – the pregnancy friendly one. Hopefully I will be able to get her to refer me to blood testing – I need more comprehensive tests if I am to donate eggs to another woman. These are expensive tests, and if my doctor sorts it out they will be free. Cross your fingers for free and timely!!

I’m all over the place emotionally – just imagine how crazy I will be with IVF hormones. If you choose to read my diary during that time, you’d probably better invest in a sturdy seatbelt. I am also going to call Kleinette today. Just typing this I’m getting a little teary, so going to allow myself some time to settle into work before I scurry into another room and tell my ex-therapist I need to talk/cry/puzzle/laugh. Just one session, even.

TMD suggested it this morning, and I think it would be valuable. We have a couples session scheduled at the clinic in a couple of weeks time, but it is hard to think we will be able to relax and use the space productively. Particularly as part of this woman’s job is evaluating whether or not I am in a good head space to donate eggs and undergo IVF. I think of counselling as a non-judgmental safe space, and it’s hard to think of it as having some sort of evaluation attached to it.

Still, I know the way I am feeling and the conversations I’m having with TMD (which usually happen as we are on a walk and I am crying! Joy!) are perfectly normal and appropriate ways to be reacting to the stress of this situation. Finances are such a huge worry. I don’t want to feel that I donated eggs just to get the kickback of very cheap IVF!

How much am I willing to give up or put us through in order to have a child? I don’t know what my limits are, but I am scared I might find them.

Despite having a mild case of the crazies (and during the normally cheerful part of my cycle!), I feel really positive about the outcome of IVF. I’m young, healthy, fertile. Why SHOULDN’T I be one of the women who have successful implantation and pregnancy?

Hard to focus on work. Will no doubt be back here again throughout the day. I also still want to put down in words about the wonderful effort TMD made for my birthday.