Archive for September, 2008

This flair deserves its own entry:

September 30, 2008

Great or what? I would like to own this in real life, but only if I could be assured that strangers in the street would know I was wearing it ironically.


Spread the love.

September 30, 2008

Eid Mubarak and Happy Rose Hashanah!!!

Two holidays on one day. Is this like a religious eclipse? If so, good things should happen today. Oh wait, my parking already sorted itself out.

Seriously, though, to my pallies who’ve been fasting for all of Ramadan – enjoy eating during sunlight again. No more vampire foodie¬†lifestyle. And to the non-Muslim Jews of my aquaintance, happy New Year!

(And another religious holiday: a woman in an office below ours asked me to join her ‘choir’ and practice Christmas songs. I smiled and tried not to betray my nervous twitches.)

[this space reserved for Rose Hashanah flair, which does not exist.:( ]

Back that thang up.

September 30, 2008

I know you are all hanging around waiting to hear updates on my parallel parking. Some of you have probably already written worried poetry about this topic. I know others have composed stirring operas.

Well, no more to fear. We’ve identified the problem: the curbs on the street we were trying were too low to see in the mirrors. Hence when I was screaming, ‘I can’t see the fucking CURBS, TMD. Fuck these fucking mirrors!’ I was actually correct, whilst sounding like a jackass.

We found a street with normal curbs this evening, and I am back to being a pretty amazing parker. What a difference 24 hours and three inches make.


September 30, 2008

I just wrote ‘once and awhile’ in the previous post. I’ve fixed it now, but it horrifies me.

My friend/ex-roommate Cookie once dated this girl we’ll call Crazy Short Girl. Now, Crazy truly was crazy, but I think it was her grammar problems that sealed the deal for me. And for Cookie, come to think of it.

In a totally non-crazy way, Cookie and I read Crazy’s blogs for years after they’d broken up (and the blog of her new gf. I know, right?) and Crazy had this annoying habit of writing ‘all well’ every third sentence. As in, ‘All well, I guess things are working out.’ She meant ‘oh well.’

I hope I am not turning into her, with my ‘once and awhile.’ Ga-ga-ga-gross.


September 30, 2008

Have a little looksie at the link ‘my memory stick’ on the right. I’m using this as a handy list of links I visit regularly, or just sites I go to once in a while and still think they are worth posting.

Two blogs ago, back in the old school days, I had a list of websites I thought were odd. It ended up being quite cool because loads of people emailed with suggestions of other websites. So feel free to comment on the bottom of that page with things you think I might like, things you like, or just surreal websites you want other people to know about!

I’m in a better mood now – driving test be damned – as my Scary Meeting today was cancelled.

Just THINKING about the driving test Friday makes me uncontrollable.

September 30, 2008

This country:

allows you to reverse around corners
has no word for garbage trucks
thinks it’s okay to drink hot things in the summer

is awesome with gay things
gave birth to TMD
speaks the same language as me

All in all, it may look like the score is currently even. You know what screws it up?

Driving tests. These motherfuckers have such hard driving tests it is like you are training to be a surgeon or something. There’s the written test, another test where you stare at a computer screen for a million hours clicking the mouse whenever danger appears (awesome videos, let me tell you), and then the test itself. My driving instructor keeps telling me they (we, after I get citizenship on Monday) have the hardest practical driving test in the world.

Roll on, Saturday.

I am still angry at parallel parking. While a sane part of me knows our side mirror was probably not set up right, it was on a hill, and it was pitch black…..a more primal part of me wants to rip apart a driving instruction manual, piss on it, and then dance naked around it while chanting some threatening little ditty.

Watch this space.

FUCK being a teenager again when I am thirty.

September 29, 2008

Just had a fucking rage fest about parallel parking. Who needs it, I say?

I used to be just fine when it came to parking. Then along came my driving instructor, who taught me his ‘foolproof’ method for parking and scorned any other method. Granted, I didn’t so much have a ‘method’ as just an ability to park, but still.

I don’t know if the method only works in his type of car (mine is much bigger), or if I have suddenly turned into The Shittiest Driver On Earth, but I fucked up parking about eleven times tonight. That’s right, 0 for 11.

I’m feeling glum, panicked, angry. Wishing I wasn’t taking the fucking driving test on Friday, I’ll tell you that. Cross your fingers for the turn in the road and reversing round the corner.

In mind.

September 29, 2008

I feel very sad when I think of a client I saw today. I hold them in mind, and in my heart as well.

Cruisin’ for no arm bruisin’.

September 29, 2008

Called the clinic. The nurse I spoke to was uber-casual about the positive result and said it shouldn’t affect my ability to donate eggs.

Next piece of good news you probably don’t care about: I got my period on Saturday night. This is brilliant as a late period might have pushed back conception quite far, and this was actually two days early. Yay for early ovulation. My body is going haywire, but at least it’s all good news on the fertility side.

Have an appointment at 8 am tomorrow for the blood test. HOW GROSS.

When December rolls around and I’m going in every other day for monitoring, I am going to be one tired kitten. But I have bought a special too big pair of pants to wear for the procedures – comfort is the order of the day. I’ll also be quite bloated from the drugs, or so I’ve heard. Plus, I don’t want to squish the twins out of me as soon as they are put in. (‘Twins’ being my loose way of referring to the two embryos they will be putting back in me, all going well. WHICH IT WILL.)

I can sort of see the appeal of being a hypochondriac.

Viruses are fun for everyone.

September 29, 2008

So….I tested positive for something on one of the blood tests. My first thought wasn’t what it was or the effect it might have on me. No, I thought, I hope I can still be an egg sharer. Have a call in to the clinic to book my FINAL blood test (if I have any blood left) and will try to clarify with them the results I received today.

I’ve done some clever googling on the topic, and am not worried about this particular virus. Apparently 50-80% of women of childbearing age have it. I also ended up at the website of the regulating body for fertility treatments, and it gives clinical guidance that I CAN still donate – but only to women who also test positive. I’m guessing my clinic will follow that guidance, because egg donors are in short supply and they’d be cutting off a whole load of people if they blackballed seropositive people.

I think I contracted this little ditty in college – I wonder if Cookie remembers the menengitis scares on campus, and the time sort of around that period where all I could do was sleep in Chairy? My medical psychic powers are pinpointing that as the one and only time this virus particularly flared up.


Had a mild freak out when I read about how it can affect pregnant women and pre-natal babies, but apparently the side effects only happen if the mum contracts it for the first time during pregnancy. I don’t know about breastfeeding and if I’ll be able to now that I’m all communicable-diseased-up, but that’s another question for another day.

Peace out, my seropositive and seronegative brothas and sistas.