Gay musings.

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People keep finding this diary by googling ‘How can I tell if I’m gay’ or some variation. I tell you, if you’re even questioning, good for you!

I realised this morning that I simply did not realise that the way I saw the world and my place in it was any different from the way other people perceived things. I’m currently rereading House of Stairs, a book I read over and over as a child – and the gay subtext is HUGE. This never occured to me as a child. On one level, why would it? Rainbows and other ‘gay clues’ were not in my vocabulary then. However, one teen boy blatantly in love with another?

I guess it just didn’t strike me as odd.

I also knew I read Hey, Dollface and Annie on my Mind – and the second a good many times. A few years ago I went on a kick to buy childhood/adolescent books I’d liked. I was completely shocked when they were lesbian books – no clever little side story, but THE main plot of the books. Particularly the Annie one (one of the best books ever – read it now!!)…

Is it odd I found my way to all sorts of hidden away homosexual books? Is it strange I never thought reading them was cladestine, unnatural, etc?

I told TMD this surely ups my gay rating. I also went on a big theoretical lecture tour (just to TMD, you understand) about why my first MA and PhD were all about dystopian texts – books where the vast majority of society is living life a certain way, and usually quite enjoying it. The heroine/hero, though, they feel different inside, often having to go on a great life-threatening text to create a place they can be themselves – or, in fact, compeltely alter society for the better.

Hmm.

Other great gay books I should read?

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2 Responses to “Gay musings.”

  1. Katie Says:

    Louisa May Alcott. No, seriously. Probably idle speculation based on sub-text, and maybe I’m just blowing independent strong-minded young women out of proportion, but hers are so very different from other independent young women in fiction. I never went reading her books looking for that, but when I was in high school, re-reading, it occurred to me, and now it’s a thought I really can’t shake.

  2. existere Says:

    I’m related to her, no lie. And – I agree with you.

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