Because Nike says so….

by

Ah, all that shit about being inspired to start over again? I decided to do so by giving myself fifteen minutes to write fiction a night. No pressure, no biggie, right?

Except I got totally freaked out. So I thought, ‘Hey, no problemo. I’ll blog instead.’ Except I froze up.

I think it’s fair to say this shit is a pretty large phobia. Please help me over my phobia. Ease me into shit. Leave a comment with a suggestion for a blog entry – maybe a question you have about me/TMD/etc, a philosophical query like those in ‘The Big Book of Questions,’ or something like ‘write a two paragraph work of fiction about bananas.’ Or even ‘hit me up with two sentences from one of your completed novels.’

(Hell, you can even leave multiple comments. This is the one time you don’t need to fear judgement for doing so, because I will not be judging. I will be LICKING YOU THROUGH YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN. Good licking, not the sort of licking that leads to cannibalism and putting the lotion on its skin or anything.)

I will then have dozens (ha) of comments to work through when I freeze up. SO PLEASE HELP UNFREEZE ME. Don’t read this and run. I fucking see how many page views I get every day, and that shit does not match up with the teensy number of comments I get. I bleed when I don’t get comments like everyone else does, but you know I do not comment-grub. So cut me some slack.

Let’s aim for twelve comments. DO IT.

Unfreeze me. Anonymously, obnoxiously, I don’t care. Just do it.

21 Responses to “Because Nike says so….”

  1. Brie Says:

    I would like a story about rain. Please.

  2. mamacrow Says:

    I read every post, though I admit I dont always comment (well, you’ve probably know that)
    I’d like updates on the broken gnomes, long posts about baby making (oh you know what I mean)
    more gorgeousness about coconut + snort,
    more or your romance novel? If poss?
    oh and campfire songs. What this blog needs is more posts on campfire songs
    xx

  3. Kate Murphy Says:

    Which of your senses would you give up if you had to choose and why?

  4. PottyMouthMommy Says:

    I want a story about you bringing snort and coco and TMD to the great canuckland to visit me!! :P

    Of course, I could content myself with more of the romance novel too! That would be cool. Or write more camp stories- like stories about when you were a camp counselor! Or maybe some mystery fiction!! That would be cool!!

  5. @tatchull Says:

    I nearly didn’t comment because I feared judgement on my crappy sleep-deprived ideas, but I will anyway, because you are asking so nicely:
    Best and worst thing anyone ever said to you.
    Thing you are most ashamed of.
    A story based on or inspired by your favourite toy as a child.

  6. Diane Says:

    I’d love to hear a story about your funniest memory.

  7. Winnie Says:

    Stories about you and TMD when you first met.

  8. jo Says:

    I’m one of those to leave footprints but never knock on the front door and request a cup of tea and a rich tea biscuit, sooooo:

    I’d like to see a paragraph on why David Hasselhoff is still big in Germany?

  9. mendylady Says:

    you need to talk about the awesomeness that is your twitter gf. ;)

  10. smokerette Says:

    I would like a story about the Snuggle fabric softener bear. He’s actually a hard cockney bastard who hates his job peddling cotton softness to gullible yanks. He goes backpacking in Europe to ‘find himself’ but eventually dies a tragic aching death after a hard night in Prague. And GO.

  11. Lauren Says:

    What the longer term house plan is.
    What and where your dream home would be.
    How being a SAHM is for you.

  12. jinxyisms Says:

    I want to know how you handle tantrams/meltdowns with twins.

  13. @eddsnotdead Says:

    Give me an email address and i’ll send you the book I completed but cant get an agent with.
    If it gets you writing more than at least its good for something (I really like it, which is good, just a shame no one official does).
    You can even give your thoughts if you can be bothered (it seems to have struck a line of apathy in other readers thats really depressing for me). But hey, you want to read, let me know.
    I’d say keep writing, always, regardless of complement, cutting remarks or fear, just keep writing. Its reward in itself.

  14. Jess Collingwood Says:

    I have one question & one question only. Do you, Existere, remember the Burger King poo experience like it was just yesterday?

  15. Jenny Says:

    Anything to help. I probably missed this but I i’m interested in why you chose Coconut and Snort as blog names for the little ones. Do you ever call them this in real life by accident? And if you were starting this blog afresh today what two names would you call them?

  16. I don’t really care if you are famous or not. « existere (latin): to stand out, to emerge. Says:

    [...] other news, though this is posted Thursday morning, I am writing this about twenty minutes after this post where I begged your ass to comment. If you did not comment, now is your chance. And remember, you don’t want to alienate me. I [...]

  17. Liv Says:

    Do you have a plan for how you’re home educating, or how you will continue to do so, or are you just winging it? What’s the best resource you’ve found yet?

  18. pajamamommas Says:

    I’m curious to hear more about what it’s like to live in a country that’s not the one you grew up in. What do you miss most about Country A? What wierd cultural differences have you encountered? (if you can say without giving away your top-secret location).

  19. Gnome Says:

    I’m often way behind here which is why I don’t comment. But here’s a question: if you were invisible for 24 hours, what would you do?

  20. Jo says: I’d like to see a paragraph on why David Hasselhoff is still big in Germany? « existere (latin): to stand out, to emerge. Says:

    [...] to do so. Generous people have given me funny, thoughful, and factual suggestions for posts. Click here to see them, or add your own. I’ll work through them all in time. Share this:Like this:LikeBe [...]

  21. Thing I am most ashamed of. « existere (latin): to stand out, to emerge. Says:

    [...] to do so. Generous people have given me funny, thoughful, and factual suggestions for posts. Click here to see them, or add your own. I’ll work through them all in time. Share this:Like this:LikeBe [...]

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