Clarification.

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My father in law had this house. He moved in with his partner into new house, about ninety minutes away.  We took over this house. The understanding has been that it is officially ours.

With the condition that he sleeps over Monday nights as he has an ongoing commitment in our town.

Last week was the first time. TMD had a specific talk with him (after he arrived at dawn on Monday) and it was agreed he would leave at noon on Tuesday. She was gone ten minutes and he told me he was staying till five.

This is the second week. He inexplicably arrived very early again today. Just now he said, oh, I’m going to stay till mid-afternoon on Wednesday this week.

I don’t think this is going to work out. I’m a bit panic ridden as our old house will officially be someone else’s in a week, and TMD’s massive paycut means we won’t be able to afford a house down here. Plus we have wasted a lot of time unpacking and cleaning if we are just going to leave again.

I am upset. At my father in law. At TMD for her first response being that we will have to move rather than standing up to him, at myself that I’m so weak and uncomfortable I am not saying anything to him.

Feck.

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6 Responses to “Clarification.”

  1. Roxxroxx Says:

    Sounds very stressful! :(

  2. makingfamilyfromlove Says:

    If I were you I would just prance around in my undies all day, leave out personal items, just in general, make him uncomfortable. It’s your house now, not his. I would also throw all his crap out asap!

  3. pajamamommas Says:

    Yikes! Would it be easier to set boundaries with him via letter/email rather than in person? Like a written-out list of when he’s allowed to be there. And if he shows up outside of those times, you can say “sorry, no can do right now. you’ll have to go elsewhere until __ o’clock.” Also, any chance that you guys threatening to leave would help him realize how incredibly obnoxious he’s being?

  4. mamacrow Says:

    (((((HUGS)))))) a very tough situation. Not sure what the solution is. Comunication, presumably, but very tough to get this going without conflict I’m guessing xx

  5. Gnome Says:

    Sounds tough. I like the written communication suggestion. It allows you to get your feelings across clearly but respectfully. Good luck.

  6. jinxyisms Says:

    I know things have changed a bit since you wrote this, but I’m super behind on my favorite blogs and just had to comment.
    Don’t beat yourself up over this. I lothe confrontation. It makes me ill to even consider confronting someone. So I understand where you are coming from.
    I know if this a very tough situation and I’m sure you and TMD will do what’s best for your family. Good luck in the mean time.

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