I know they’ll be so fucking cute! (Momma said ‘fuck.’)

36 weeks today – I cannot believe it. ’36′ has been a number looming large in my mind almost from the beginning, the huge target, the hope-to-achieve this goalpost.

I now move to weekly goals. One more week till Mano and Torre are full term!!

I have blogging contingency plans, and hope to get the word out to the marvellous Tatiana from averygoodyear.net (as she is a WordPress user and can just be signed up to my blog). We haven’t quite worked out if things are a go, but hopefully nothing will happen without you realising. And by ‘nothing,’ I anticipate two main events – going into the hospital, and the birth of the babies.

If all else fails, will let Twitter know.

Don’t know why I am suddenly in army mode, organising these plans and assuming you will need to have them soon, but in reality, at the VERY longest, it is two and a half weeks until Baby Time.

Twin bump pics – 35 weeks 4 days!

24 July: This is me in my kick ass African mumu. I bought it yeeeeeeeeeeears ago as a sort of comedy outfit to wear at camp for certain occasions. I can now say this is THE most comfortable thing in the house. I’m 35+3 here:

Edit: Just noticed that it looks like I have a metal strut holding up the bump in the above picture. Shame it’s only a crutch and NOT a strut. I bet that shit would be helpful, if impractical.

25 July – the more ‘typical’ bump picture. 35 weeks 4 days….and Helen, this door is 2 feet 4 inches wide. I stand pretty much touching it when I am in front of it – but perspective can still be a bitch as I suspect I am not just long, but wide. *grin*

Shiny, shiny bump skin.

TMD described me as ‘a beach ball on pins’ this morning.

35 weeks 4 days pregnant with the amazing tumbling babies.

I don’t know what kind of birth I want anymore. My mother (and TMD’s, as well) keep banging on about c sections due to the fact that I am a bone fide cripple. They don’t want things to get any worse. Well, neither do I, moms. Thanks.

But the rebel teenager in me wants to fight back. As soon as my  mother starts talking about the wonderful world of c sections, I get all annoyed and pro-vaginal delivery. But the truth is, I don’t know. We have succesfully managed to avoid talking about it, even though I say about ten times a day, ‘We really need to talk about this.’

Everything SPD related clashes with what a vaginal delivery would entail. I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. Nor do I know if the hospital would even allow me to elect to have a c section if the babies were in position, as their goal is to promote natural deliveries. I guess we will see. I have a very strong feeling Baby Boy is head down at this point, and Baby Girl is much lower as well. SOMETHING is fairly deep in my bump, as there is an easily feelable hard bit that pokes out at my pubic hair line and just above. I don’t know if it is big enough to be a head, though,  unless our baby has a head the size of an orange.

Again, we’ll see.

Ten (eleven really!) more days till the babies are full term.

11. (ish)

Eleven days till the babies are full term. (Well, eleven by the dating scan, twelve by reality of when they were conceived.)

Eleven days till all the months of worry about preterm labour are erased and we can celebrate our good luck, my hydration vigilance, and the bedrest.

I can’t quite believe it.

Thank you, universe. Seriously.

Another day, another dollar. Pregnancy symptoms, let me hear you holla!

Ah, Friday. The end to another week.

I now have (yes, folks, time for another edition of ….. Count the Complaints!!): utterly crippling SPD…perhaps more details later, an asshole completely textured like the surface of Mars due to all the hemorrhoids, fingers that no longer work as I have been diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome from all the swelling, magic feet that go purple the instant I am upright and flesh coloured when I lie back down, funky wrists, stretch marks from here to eternity,  tightenings that take my breath away when I am upright, 60 extra pounds,  and a bump that just won’t quit – and a nice, pricky rash on it that feels like I am constantly being stung by a hoard of angry bees.

You know what I say to these things? FUCK YOU, buddies, because I’m going to have babies!!

That’s right. Two healthy, funny, squishy, fat little babies who will love me even though my stomach will be down to my knees and I am likely to be pooping blood for about ten years. BABIES. Real live babies.

You, babies, are both very very wiggly. I don’t know about all this stuff saying you feel babies less the closer you are to term, because you are BOTH hugely moving, hiccuping, punching, and gyrating to your internal disco beat. You both seem to be awake a lot of the time, and are often both moving at the same time. Sometimes it makes me feel a little bit surprised and stuff, but that’s okay.

I’m trying to be zen about the birth but failing miserably. I got a leaflet in the mail today entitled ‘I want my baby but I don’t want to be at the birth!’ Yes, exactly that. After months of praying they stay put for health reasons, I am now praying they stay put because I can’t bear imagining the alternative.  Though I worry, worry, worry about TMD being able to finish her dissertation, I am hoping that there is only three weeks left.

I am worried I did myself some baaaaaaaaaad damage to the ol’ symphasis pubic joint last night, and unfortunately it wasn’t even doing anything fun! And speaking of fun (babies, avert your eyes), if they are in a position for a natural delivery, TMD and I are going to get jiggy with it like mad cowboys from week 37. Even though that sounds like the least appealing thing ever on offer. We will get them out!

Twin bump pictures – 34 weeks 4 days.

Taken July 18th. What d’ya think?

Starting to look rather bulky, methinks.

Reader’s corner, and 35 weeks preggers with twins.

Here’s a bit of a comment I got from Katie a few entries ago:

And maybe it’s my eyes, but, er what are the silver things on the side of the pushchair? Because I totally see silver penises or cannons, or something. (Do not let my stupid brain ruin it for you, you’ve seen it up close and in person, and know what they actually are. Do not think you accidentally bought a phallic pram.)

Question for you that Google doesn’t share up a clear answer for (and you may not know, so don’t worry if you can’t): Do you know at what point you outstripped the final week of a singleton pregnancy (you have, right)? Is there like a chart, “32 weeks with twins is like 40 weeks with a singleton” or whatever? You’ve been pretty good about the pictures, but now my baffled little brain has no basis for comparison.

I’ve been meaning to answer her questions for awhile now, but it is tricky tricky to get online with Mil here. (Which is also the reason I haven’t been responding to comments, though I have read every single one and appreciated them. Especially all the contraction info and general support!)

Anyway, with regard to the silver penises, they are information stickers on the sides of the car seats. I think they tell you how to properly fit them into the car or something. Not as erotic as having penis decals, but perhaps more baby appropriate? Ha.

As for my womb….well. A book I read said twin wombs are 6-8 weeks ‘ahead’ of singletons. However, I was told when I was…crap, when was it? I want to say 28 weeks, but I don’t think I was in the hospital then. Uh. At any rate, it was about 28 weeks when I was told my uterus was ‘full term.’ And that is measuring the sticky outy bit, but my bump also goes completely to the sides of my body. From tits to lady bits, every single thing you can see is baby goodness.

Hope that waffley answer was something approaching informative? At least in regards to my particular pregnancy…

—–

35 weeks pregnant today!! Am sitting up as TMD had to go to work and Mil isn’t here till this afternoon. Sunday night was a nightmare as I had the bright idea to try to sleep in bed. Didn’t sleep until about 4 am, when TMD coralled us back into the lounge. Yesterday was a screaming nightmare. I am sort of suprised the neighbors didn’t call the police what with all the yelling and crying I did all day. TMD had to work from home because I was Ms. Cripple of the Year 2009.

Have found that lying on my side reduces the tightenings by about a million. Only been sitting up for awhile this morning and my womb is going rock hard – you could probably knock on it.

Alrighty roo, more later. Going to post bump pics now.

——

Ooh, one more thing to update. Last night TMD heard Mano’s hiccups!

One more day in the 34 week range.

Just a quick post to say that I’ve been writing down BH contractions for the past five days. At one point today we were about five minutes apart for an HOUR straight. I’m definitely noticing more on the days when I don’t sleep or drink enough.

I just had one that had to be the longest and tightest one yet.

Have I mentioned how fearful of birth I am becoming? Will there really be two babies in our lives soon? It seems completely unbelieveable. I think I am just used to my belly lurching around, feeling baby hiccups, etc. I’m not sure how that translates into actually having babies.

TMD is now getting her fair share of the terror. Interestingly, I’m more afraid of birth and less afraid of taking them home. I think she thinks birth will be survivable, but she’s not too sure about the babies-at-home part of things. Let’s look on the bright side and take the positives out of both views, shall we?

I still don’t want the babies yet. I want to make it to that next scan.

Night night.

(If you want to tell me about your contractions, please do. Seriously.)

I would flirt with you if I could see you.

Hello blogfriends!! (Yes, I said ‘blogfriends,’ please feel free to judge me.) Sorry for not writing this week. TMD’s mum has been here – hereafter referred to as Mil.

It has been a huge, huge help having her here, not least of all because I didn’t feel free to go all weepy and crazy on her ass. It was tough at times because I have my lunatic schedule of crappy tv and napping at will, and that is hard to fit into an almost constant stream of conversation. She is brilliant company and am happy she’ll be here again next week.

Past few days have been…intriguing. I’ve had more Braxton Hicks contractions than you can shake a stick at. I actually called the hospital a few days ago because they had increased to every ten minutes, but then calmed back down. I am having probably four or five an hour during most of the day. Last night I also had some KILLER stabbing cramping, which I think turned out to be a mild case of the you-poisoned-mes, as I got a wee bit sick after dinner. After crapping my heart out, the stabbing pains subsided somewhat.

At any rate, we are 34 weeks 4 days pregnant today – I will be taking pictures later this afternoon. TMD keeps banging on about how I appear to have leapt in bump growth yet again, but I now only see the narrowing top part of my bump. As the babies go lower and more to each side, the top almost appears neat and tidy. To me, anyway.

Both babies are out of control hopping around. Midwife came to our home to see me Thursday and acknowledged that we had a ‘very active pair.’ I got to hear Torre’s hiccups! It was incredible. I obviously feel and see each of their respective hiccup attacks several times a day, but when she was listening for Torre’s heartbeat she got hiccups and we heard them all on the doppler. That shit was SO COOL and I need TMD to keep the doppler handy so she can hear them in future, too. (It was Mil and me with the midwife, TMD was at work.)

Midwifey confirmed that an epidural was the way to go, as in most cases there would be plenty of time for a top up should a c section be needed. She also read over both birth plans and went through how labour would work in more detail. Torre is still a breechie baby, but Mano MAY be turning. Emphasis on the ‘may.’ What she suspects was his ass rather than his head was way out on the side, and his head was near my belly button – so he’s transverse again, but lower down. He was more diagonal with his head down, but wiggled back up during the exam.

I am starting to get nervous.

The cramping last night, mixed with the almost steady stream of BH contractions, has me actually thinking about giving birth, and I am starting to find Denial Land harder and harder to enter. Both Mil and my mom are cheering for a c section because I am all messed up and they both fear permanent injury, but people my age all in favour of vaginal. Only time will tell.

Next scan is at 36 + 3, so less than two weeks to go.

Ooh. Another BH contraction. I wonder what the babies make of them, as it appears my skin turns to clingfilm during these contractions and baby bodies are clearly visible.

Only new news is really about my discovery of a whole world of info about breastfeeding after a breast reduction. For the first time, it hit me that I may not be able to nourish my babies. Feeling down about this, but have ordered a specialist book on the subject. I also need to try to hand express from my right boob, as I know my left boob is at least capable of producing a bit of colostrum. I’d like to be assured the right could do the same, otherwise I will feel guilty about putting one of the babies on that boob.

Going to call my surgeon on Monday (if I can find him – had the reduction in 1999, so it’s been awhile). Beating myself up mildly for choosing to have had the surgery, but I suppose there is no turning back time.

I hope all you kiddies are great. And to the person who read the whole blog in one sitting – WOW. You are pretty fucking amazing – and I envy you. I love finding new blogs that kidnap me from real life for that long at one go!!

Now I’m off to try to download Skype and install our new camera/microphone. Somewhere in the last five years I stopped being a youngin’ who kept up with technological things, but I still feel confident I can Skype it up. Wish me luck….

33 weeks 4 days preggo with our twin eggos!!

Um, has there or has there not been a HUGE spurt in growth of my bump since the last pictures? Let me refresh your memories.

This is last week:

This is today:

And:

And here is TMD with our new pushchair!! (Or what I could fit of it into the picture.)

So, big bump growth spurt, no?

Today was also a banner day as I rode in the car to McDonald’s with TMD to get some Egg McMuffins this morning, and this evening she pushed me in the wheelchair to the local shops. I am pretty sure she has forced every muscle in her body to the absolute limit pushing me. She kept saying, ‘You’re quite heavy. Yeah, you’re quite heavy.’

Think we’re going to watch the DVD we got at our multiples antenatal class this evening. And then perhaps look some more at my bump and oogle at the size. 33 weeks 4 days with the babies now….can hardly believe it. Am grateful for everything – the ripping pain of the skin of bottom of my bump (will post pics soon, perhaps tomorrow. WOW.), the hospital visits, the painful knuckles. We are growing some fantastic babies in there, I can just tell.

It IS huge(r), right?