A picture is worth a thousand words.

by

It’s been a long time since I’ve talked about bodily functions. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve done so since moving to this diary. I won’t be able to type much, since my hands are almost raw from the amount of soap-and-water washes I’ve just had.

Why, you ask?

I’ve been having bad shitting problems for about six weeks now. It’s impossible to overestimate how bad they are. And when I say ‘shitting’, a more accurate term might actually be ‘not shitting, because I can’t. And being full of actual terror about farting in public, because I have never produced -¬†or smelled – anything this obscene in my whole life.’

I’ve made people gag and cough within the last week. Mostly Aussie, who was joking, except somehow I think she was just pretending her gagging was a joke to be nice.

So. Tonight.

Let’s just say that three pictures of what have happened exist. One of the inside of my underwear, one of the inside of my pajama bottoms, and one of my ass. All three are coated in shit. So much, and so moist, that I thought I started my period. No lie.

I don’t know whether I am blogging about this because I am proud, in shock, or both.

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3 Responses to “A picture is worth a thousand words.”

  1. Juice-ica Says:

    Oh dear lord. That is foul. Hahaha. Do you remember the infamous BK entry from waaayyy back when? It was what introduced both Tia & I to your diary and after just making John read this entry so we could groan in disgust (and giggle like schoolchildren) together, I’d like him to read it as well. So funny. If you have it, could you like email it to me or something? Or hell, post it back up on here so new readers can giggle. Haha.

  2. Tia Says:

    Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!

    Somehow the universe knew I needed this.

    Remind me when I email on Monday about period stuff. It will make you laugh!

  3. existere Says:

    I’ll try to find that entry today and put it up!

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